I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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