Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
