I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
