nut hugger
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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