I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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