is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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