She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
