i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
