The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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