Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Randomize
