is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That's how pantless uber rides happen
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
