careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
