white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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