so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
