Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
