I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize