she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
