Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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