Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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