she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize