I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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