The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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