$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize