This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
