I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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