it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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