look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
