Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
