i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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