i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
