i don't like sucking hair
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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