ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize