My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I need a beard to bite.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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