so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm too high and old for this...
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