i just wanna soil my oats bro
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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