That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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