god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
