wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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