Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
