ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
