I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
