The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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