i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
