genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize