it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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