kristin has been a bad kristin
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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