You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
