I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery