So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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