The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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