I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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