lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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