I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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