I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
