I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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