no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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