party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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