I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
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You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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