she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
